DIARY OF A GIRL-NEXT-DOOR HEAVY METAL NOVELIST

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August 13, 2005
YIf I had a nickel for each time someone asked, "Is Won't Get Fooled Again autobiographical?" I would have long since met my goal of paying off my mortgage. As I've learned more about myself this year, I've learned that WGFA hits closer to home than I intended. Tonight, I realized that breaking away from the truth might be tougher. I added 1000 words to my second novel tonight, and I knew my protagonist needed a mother. In creating a good-spirited-but-nosy-mom, I had the same emotional reaction I do when I dream about my own mother and wake up to find that she's still in good-spirited-but-nosy-heaven. It's one of those happy/sad yin/yang experiences that I'm not sure I'm ready to bring upon myself intentionally, but anti-heroine Emme Sherman needs a mother, and I'm the only one who can make it happen. I typed up a maternal figure that I think I'll like.

Since I haven't yet paid off my mortgage, I concocted a business idea today that might just do the trick. Stay tuned - especially if you're smart and female

August 15, 2005
Forget that business idea from two days ago. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. with a better one. One that sets me on fire. I have subsequently written a mission, started a discussion group, designed a (ROUGH) website and recruited two members of a Board of Directors. They are two of the most talented, creative, inspiring and honorable human beings I know. That is actually a requirement of even getting an invitation. I will accept nothing less than stars for this new venture. The one I was most nervous about was the first to accept. I'm waiting for seven more.

As for book promotions, I'm a little gun shy. The writers expo on Friday was a bomb for all the vendors. We all learned some great lessons, but lessons won't pay off my mortgage. Tomorrow, I'll be back at the grindstone.

I sent my friend Antoinette an email telling her I had been working on some updated business cards, and I couldn't quite put my finger on a job title. I thought I needed to change "Girl-Next-Door Heavy Metal Novelist" and find something that spoke to both feminist values and decadence. My favorite suggestion of hers: "Feminist Slave to Rock & Roll." It's brilliant on countless levels.

August 16, 2005
I'm still obsessing about my new business plan, but I made sure to put time into Won't Get Fooled Again. Luckily, I made a sale on Amazon to a southern reader - two actually - today, and I'm crediting it to the press releases I sent down south for last weekend. Tonight, I looked up every single bed & breakfast I could find in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Since Won't Get Fooled Again is the perfect vacation book, and also set right here in tourist country, it seems like a perfect match. It's a suspenseful rollick AND a memento.

In case you're wondering, there are 62.

August 18, 2005
It's a funny thing when a spellcheck on a web-building software package recognizes neither "email" nor "website".

I've been busy the past couple days setting up signings, selling books and plotting my benevolent conspiracy to improve the world condition through my impending consulting work. I also made sure I kicked ass at karaoke tonight with the songs I practiced during my 14 hours in the car last weekend. I almost made myself cry during "Break It To Me Gently." Reading this paragraph makes me think I would be an ideal candidate for Miss America. I'd just be fighting for social justice while wearing a bikini. Maybe that's the answer! I'd know for sure that I'd made a difference when I could show up at a board meeting in a leopard 2-piece and the men would look me straight in the eye. That's a dynamite qualitative assessment if ever I heard one.

August 19, 2005
Things are on the upswing. I've got orders, press on the way, and I finally finished my "I 'Heart' Lancaster" page.

On the downside, I went down to the condo clubhouse room tonight to claim the tv. I figured the rest of the world would be out having a life on a Friday night. Instead, a bunch of young guys with beer had commandeered the room. As a result, I missed the first episode of "Gene Simmons Rock School". If this is not the perfect incentive to get rich enough to reinstall my cable, I don't know what is.

August 20, 2005
I made some popcorn, snuggled in to watch "Gene Simmons Rock School" and typed 2655 words of my second novel. That was after I got a most intriguing date request. Not a bad Saturday. If everyday could be this swell, I'd tell all my friends to become KISS junkie writer/consultants.

August 21, 2005
Yesterday, date requester = intriguing.
Today, date requester = probable scumbag.
It's a good thing I'm a novelist. Inventing men who are polite, sexy, honest, and thoughtful enough to put the toilet seat down is such a pleasure. Where else do these men exist? (continue)