Diary of a Girl-Next-Door Heavy Metal Novelist
December 16,
2003
God, I love rock & roll!!! I have my fire back and
I feel inspired in a hundred different ways.
The Spirit of KISSmas Yet to Come visited my dreams and reminded me of
my inevitable future as a rock literature star. At long last, I finished
the Gene mailer and as soon as I take some pictures of it for the KISSfiction
vault, I'll send it off. I feel like it has the magic it needs now to
find success.
The Virginia film festival that recruited me to show Living the Fantasy this spring asked for publicity photos this week. I love the pictures I have, but I think I'm ready to do another shoot if my fashionista photog, Kurt Doan is willing. I'm thinking snow, fur coat, KISS t-shirt and skivvies. Brrr, but the potential...
Wondering what to get your special KISS freak for the holidays? I vote for a copy of KISStory. Click the banner above for a most excellent hook-up. Want me to plug your product? The ticket is charm.
December 17,
2003
I swear, I can make difficult work out of some of the easiest things...
What happened to my good fortune of two
days ago? The mailer is ready to go. It's beautiful, intriguing, photographed,
sealed and eager to meet Mr. Simmons. Somehow, between my office and my
car, I lost the stamp I bought for it this morning. Never fear, I stopped
at the post office tonight and purchased another. I must have kissed the
cardboard priority envelope about a dozen times for luck before I slid
it into the mail slot... and... it... didn't... fit.
I'll worry about it tomorrow. Tonight, I'll worry about the fact that I can't seem to get online. Are aliens trying to prevent me from using mail? Email, snail mail - they're all cut off. What's that thing called when you make signals with flags - like lifeguards do? See??? I can't even do that! Maybe this is worse than I imagined.
But probably not.
December 18,
2003
Dear Mr. Simmons:
I sent you a package today - a humble, delightful package that will probably make you fall desperately in love with my determination and spirit. I just thought I should give you a heads up that even though you don't imbibe, you will be intoxicated by my wonderful little KISSfiction project. I sincerely thank you for your interest, and I look forward to working with you in a symbiotic literary partnership. Simmons & Shaw - we are the embodiment of the "Smart, Sexy, Sellable" mantra that drives KISSfiction.
Best wishes for a joyful holiday season and a new year filled with...
-Colette
December 19, 2003
It was off to the supply store for me today for DVD labels. My friend
and photographer, Kurt, is testing
the documentary
DVDs I tried to burn a couple weeks ago. Even though the computer I was
using couldn't read the discs after the burning process, they played just
fine on my laptop DVD player. If they work on Kurt's machine, I'll burn
a bunch more for all the people who have been waiting for copies.
I gave the Docu-man a small gift I picked up for him at the New Orleans KISS Expo. It's a poster that appears in the documentary. When it comes on screen, it usually gets a strong reaction from the audience. It's also the only thing in the film that's not PG-rated. You'll just have to see the movie if you're curious.
I saw the lovely Heidiva last night. It seems like eons since we got together. She made me the hottest, coolest KISS Christmas ornament you can imagine. One of a kind, baby, and I've got it. Eat your hearts out.
December
20, 2003
I lunched with my friend, Damion
Wolfe, today then hit the thrift stores - ostensibly to pick up receipts
for charitable donations, but more likely to poke through the 50% off
sales. I ended up with a full stomach and three new (to me) sweaters.
From there, I hit a staff holiday party, and still had time to come home
and work on self-promotion (the topic of my conversation with Damion,
today.
Since I questioned my rocker friend about his vision of success, I suppose I should profess my own. In anticipation of the new year, I hereby give you:
Signs I've Made It:
- Terry Gross will interview me for Fresh Air (and love me)
- Triumph the Insult Comic Dog will make fun of me on Late Night
- The person sitting next to me on an airplane will ask "Hey, aren't you Colette Shaw?"
- Howard Stern will tell me I'd be prettier if I had straighter teeth and bigger breasts
- I will have one ill-fated date with Hugh Grant
- I will turn down a date with Ben Affleck (As if!!!)
- I will pay off the mortgage to my home so in case I get wreckless and stupid, I'll still have a warm bed
December 21,
2003
Tomorrow is the 10-year anniversary of my short-lived marriage of the
1990s and today is the anniversary of the day I received my divorce papers
in the mail. For whichever reason, I celebrated the end of that millennial
fiasco by dying the white hairs right out of my head and trying to find
a company that would duplicate DVDs
for me for a reasonable price - both in an effort to support my 1970s
dream of being a movie star. The 80s? Does anyone really remember the
80s? I did take a reasonable stab at "Like
a Virgin" the other night at karaoke (while wearing my new Bruce
Kulick shirt, I might add).
Apparently, 2004 can't come soon enough.
Since it is rumored that I was born in the 60s (although I'll deny in all my big-time celebrity interviews someday), I must include a link to this picture. People from my day job will recognize the authentic hippies. (continue)
