DIARY OF A GIRL-NEXT-DOOR HEAVY METAL NOVELIST

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March 13, 2006
I'm back from tonight's booksigning event. It was a lot of fun. I hope it's okay to admit that I love female-heavy crowds. They seem to enjoy the feminist leaning of Won't Get Fooled Again, or at least the discussion of it. It helps keep me grounded.

But ego is fun, too. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the Indianapolis KISS Expo on Saturday:

"I've seen authors in person, but you're the nicest looking author." Would have been my favorite, but the dude didn't buy my book. :(

"I already bought the book. I just want you to autograph it."

"I started reading it out in the lobby, and I love it."

But back to business... Who is Natalie Flora to you? Just some unknown punk? Well, she ponied up some change to kick off my Relay for Life campaign. Do you have a couple dollars to devote to the American Cancer Society? I'd hate for Natalie Flora to make YOU look like the punk. (Just kidding, Natalie. You make all of us look like punks.)

March 16, 2006
It's my birthday. I tend to forget this date, but tonight I actually have a date, so I'm psyched. He says he's taking me for a movie and some Mexican. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's Rickie Martin.
March 21, 2006
Yay, what a birthday week! My new beau took me to see King Kong and I cried at the end when I realized how attached I'd gotten to the adorable ape (King Kong). We've also been baking together (the beau and me) and I hauled ass on my current novel, Nothing to Lose.

Today, I'm going to trek out into the Upstate NY temperatures to see how long it takes to walk to the Post Office. Being self-employed author is great, until you realize you're getting so little exercise that your arms get tired when you have to lift them up to wash your hair in the shower. Not that I would know...

March 22, 2006
I'm not sure which takes more courage: walking to the post office in Rochester, NY winter weather when you're not quite sure where the P.O. actually is, or wiping down your mean cat's rear end with a soapy washcloth when you know exactly how angry she can get. In either case, I'm probably just procrastinating because I should be typing my next novel right now.

March 27, 2006
There's a certain yin & yang balance I maintain through my business. On Friday, I received a really nice letter from someone who enjoyed Won't Get Fooled Again. Before I had too much time to let the message go to my head (and I tried, really!!!), I got a hater message on my guestbook that said my novel sucked. The mean messages are in some ways healthier than the complimentary ones, so I thank whoever wrote it and I apologize for deleting the message itself. I hope you understand that at the end of the day, I still have to use this site to sell books.

In my personal life, the yin/yang balance also exists. My boyfriend swears that since we started communicating, he's lost over 30 pounds. In the perfect balance of the Tao, I have begun gaining those pounds. It's begun with three, and my plan is to keep going until I look like Buddha.

March 29, 2006
I've finally gotten into a decent work groove this week. I'm sure it sounds warped to other people when I say that saying in bed playing on my computer, then reading a romance novel, were productive, but that's my life. And it's great! I figured out how to connect to a dial-up internet service provider, so I can almost recreate my Pennsylvania life of typing from the reclined position.

In 3 days, I'll be driving to PA to pack up the rest of my crap for my official move to New York. I have lots of errands to run before the trip, but I'm excited to take care of all the moving details and then make my final appearance at Sunday night karaoke. My friend Mike Horn and I have a special swan song planned.

April 12, 2006
So much to catch up on! The big news today is that I've gone wireless in Upstate NY. That means I can use my own laptop to do all my KISSfic biz. Hooray!

I probably don't deserve to update. I used to only write when I'd done something book-related that day, but I'm making progress. After a sad farewell to my friends at (where else) the basement of the Travelodge, where I spent many Sunday nights, including Christmas, my new man and I packed up a moving truck and hauled my crap to NY. We took everything to a storage unit, so I'm still living out of a suitcase, but it's on my own terms. I'll be posting some great pictures from the going-away event soon.

Yesterday, I got my official public library card up here. I have a feeling I'll be spending many hours in the quiet cubicles working on my next novel, which is half-way done, but in desperate need of an adrenaline rush.

In KISSfiction news, I'm going to be getting a new batch of "Living the Fantasy" documentary DVDs soon, and hope to take orders. If you don't have a copy, you'll want one. Just ask my favorite fan, the Wildman Mike Nichols, who has the disc memorized! Perhaps MN is the kick in the butt I need. I feel a tingle in my fingertips telling me to get to work on my next book...

April 19, 2006
I put my public library card to excellent use last week, checking out two "Teach Yourself to Play Guitar" books. Ever since I saw the Black Diamond Girls perform last fall in Chicago, I've wanted to rock. As a percussionist, I used to have a saying that everyone wanted to play the drums, but drummers always want to play guitar. I just thought I was the exception. I've had a week to read my books, and today I clipped off all my fingernails. I think I see my first chord on the horizon!

April 20, 2006
I'm getting excited about my next book engagement. I've enjoyed being off the road for a month, but next week, I'll have a dream come true. Not only was Won't Get Fooled Again chosen as the book for the month for a boock club (with which I have no personal connection), but I'm going to be a guest on their discussion night!

I'm excited enough to let go of my disappointment in last night's American Idol results. Rockers are great, but I'm sure Mr. Simmons would agree that everyone deserves a fantasy. So long, Ace Young. I'll KISS you in my dreams.

April 23, 2006
I'm starting to feel like a writer again. I have a couple speaking engagements lined up for this week, and my man said something cool to me last night. He said, "You see the world as a writer. You find alternate ways of interpreting reality." It was really cool, and I hope it drives me to set up some promotional appearances in my new home of New York State. Like maybe tomorrow.

When I get back from my road trip, I hope to have a pile of new "Living the Fantasy" DVDs waiting for me. I'm gettin' the old drive back, baby.

April 24, 2006
It's almost time for the New York KISS Expo. So many things are getting my writing juices flowing. Today, I finished the third of three articles I've written about job searches for a college administrators organization. It's not exactly rock fiction, but it's still a creative process.

Tonight, I realized that I'm leaving for my big book club appearance tomorrow, and all my clothes are still in storage. My man helped me rummage through storage so I could improvise an outfit that might say, "I'm really a writer." I wasn't excited about the search, so as soon as I opened a carton and saw leopard, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Romance reached a new level this week. We've had lots of snuggly time, but there's a new level of intimacy when you say, "Honey, could you wring out the dish cloth so it doesn't smell like a wet muskrat in the morning?" I'm not going to tell you who uttered those words, because if a woman is lucky enough to fall for a guy who does dishes, she really shouldn't deserve to ask for extra favors.

April 26, 2006
My favorite quote from last night's book club? "I like your book better than the one I'm reading by James Patterson." The club members were enthusiastic, and the discussion was great. It made me want to join their group! More fuel for the writer in me...

For the homeowner in me, there was nothing but carpet in my life today. While contractors rolled out a plush white shag in my old condo's living room, I steamcleaned the carpets in my bedrooms. No one will ever know I had cats with frequent hairball fits. Stay tuned tomorrow, when the glamorous author will scrub out her fridge and oven and wipe the black scuff marks off the all-white walls. Hooray!

April 28, 2006
I resisted the urge to sprawl on my back and make snow angels in my beautiful new white carpet this morning. The day isn't over yet, so who's to say, but so far, I've been all business.

Yesterday, I picked up a copy (five, actually) of We magazine, which was kind enough to write an article about me. I think it was my favorite piece of press to date. The interviewer was very thorough when we met in person, and later she followed up in writing and over the phone to collect and check additional details. You can judge the results for yourself, but I was more than pleased. I'll post copies as soon as I can spare some quality Photoshop time.

I spent today speaking with a wonderful group of seventh graders. They were bright and curious, and some of them honored me by letting me read their writing. If their work is any indication, they will be a literary generation to be reckoned with.

What a great week! Tomorrow, I'll finish up work so I can sell the condo that Suzanne Curtis and I both lived in, then I'll spend some quality time with my friend Mike Horn, and I'll head back to my favorite Sabres fan in the world.

Amen.

April 29, 2006
After a fine dinner with old friends tonight, I felt the need for a little something sweet, so I hit the gas pedal and steered my car toward the DQ drivethru. When I rolled my window down to ask for a vanilla cone, I heard someone call my name. What a thrill to see the artist who designed the cover for Won't Get Fooled Again! I couldn't talk long, but I took the coincidence as another sign that I should get back on the promotion trail soon.

Now, back to cleaning. I think I've scrubbed off my fingerprints at this point. If I could grow a mustache, maybe I could go incognito as a cat burglar. I don't necessarily want to steal anything, but I'd hate to waste a perfectly good mustache. (continue)