DIARY OF A GIRL-NEXT-DOOR HEAVY METAL NOVELIST

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October 10, 2005
If I haven't quite settled into a work routine that keeps me focused and energized, the same cannot be said of my television habits. A few months go, I canceled my cable because I didn't watch television anymore. After Comcast shut me down, for some inexplicable reason, I still got TV Land and the Food Channel. I eat about as often as I used to watch the boob tube, so when I started looking for entertainment to substitute for the social outlet I used to get in my day job, that left me with one option. Every night at 8:00, I plop into my purple recliner, pop open my laptop and watch Little House on the Prairie. As I write my next novel about sex and scandal, I get a wholesome message about life. I don't think I'll ever make peace with my dichotomy, but what the heck. Charles Ingalls has a fine ass, don't you think?

October 12, 2005
I'm in love again. It's been a while since I daydreamed about one guy and carried on imaginary conversations with him. He's sexy and smart and way too young for me, but you have to trust me when I say I would only forsake Jackson Hellam for someone unimaginably beautiful. He's fictional, but whatever.

I'm deep into my new novel. Thanks to my sister/editor, I got a literary kick in the ass this week, and I've added 4000-ish words to the as-yet untitled masterpiece. I've fallen hard for the heartthrob character, but there's another dude on the way who might knock my socks off, too. Good thing I'm not-so-hot with commitment. Maybe if I'm nice, all three great loves will let me share them - and my buddy Gym, of course.

Who's counting down the days 'til the Baltimore KISS Expo??? Fishnets? Check. Books? Check. Song picked out for preparty karaoke? OH CRAP!!!

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Editor's note: I've decided to use my own name to start my highfalutin' consulting job with faith that none of this journal stuff will ever hurt my professional reputation. If it does, I'll just become bitter and blame "society" for my misfortune.

October 13, 2005
Is there a full moon this month? I realize there's a full moon at least once a month, silly. I mean has there been one ALL month? I found myself on a KISS bulletin board today defending not the men in makeup, but Oprah. I used words like "transcend" and I carried on the debate for quite a few posts. I only later realized that I'm still Dean Shaw in desperate need of water cooler BS. I hope I don't get to the KISS Expo this weekend and start talking about the existential relevance of the "Uh All Night" video.

I'm actually struggling, not with my so-called dual identity, but with dueling work styles. Currently, I'm in novelist mode. I'm on fire with the next book so I run through imaginary dialogue in my head constantly and I'm scouring my surroundings for visual imagery or opportunities to create metaphors. It's exhilarating. Trouble is, I'm also trying to start a higher education consulting business. I need to sit down and write out my budget and collect marketing data. I have to figure out how to be artsy and accountanty at the same time.

When I figure it out, I'm going to write a book.

October 14, 2005
I banked almost 2000 more words in my next novel. If I could maintain this pace, I'd have a first draft in a month, but I can't. I like the story a lot, but the writing is pretty so-so. That's what the second draft is for.

Luckily, I have friends who write. My sometimes-publicist Heidi has a hilarious column about Survivor on the celebrity news site Dean's Planet. I don't even watch Survivor, but I find myself tuning in to her page to see which characters I'd want to boot.

Tomorrow I leave for the Baltimore KISS Expo. It's an event that has been, well, eventful for me in lots of ways. It was the expo that inspired some of Won't Get Fooled Again. It's the expo where we filmed a significant segment of "Living the Fantasy." It's the expo where I belted out "2000 Man" with a live band backing me up. Romance, rock & roll, reflection's... It's all there. I hope I dream about it tonight.

October 15, 2005
Man, I love the KISS community. Passionate, funny, weird... We're all the same, although the pie chart is divided a little differently for each individual. A few years ago, I made my way through the crowd of the Baltimore KISS Expo in complete anonymity. Tonight, when I walked into the pre-party, the expo promoter announced, "Colette Shaw is here! Does everyone know Colette?" People actually clapped! I hope that enthusiasm carries over into sales stats in the morning, or at least a rollicking celebration of rock & roll .

October 17, 2005
You probably know that Mike Nichols directed one of the greatest movies ever, The Graduate, but did you also know that that sweet thing is stone cold head-over-heels in love with me? If you don't come to the Baltimore KISS Expo, you're gonna miss a few great stories.

I love you, Baltimore!!! Mike, you're pretty great, too.

October 19, 2005
Who is Xterminal? For the next five minutes or so, I'm going to say he's my very best friend. Over at the glorious Amazon.com, he has Won't Get Fooled Again on his wish list. Sweet!

The Baltimore KISS Expo has me all fired up on my second novel and my first business. I'm going to be a road warrior in at least the first six months of 2006, but I'm ready. I just need a really cool name for the Colette Shaw tour. (continue)